29 replies to this topic

[Mr. Incognito]

So after I read Magenta's post about the things she did it made me go down memory lane on the things I've done, or maybe they are wild tales, back when I was an operator that didn't really see the bigger picture.  Feel free to contribute if you feel like you want to.  If you got "caught" or not doesn't matter so much as the fun of the tale.

 

So I was working at a pasta plant somewhere in the world in the processing department where we made the pasta.  We made a cut that everyone used to say looked like a rose because of how it was extruded and it really did look like a rose that was just starting to open.  In processing we had duties to perform but a lot of the time we sat and watched the consoles to make sure all of the temps and humidity was in proper ranges and respond to alerts or emergencies.

 

One day we were all standing around the table and someone was making that cut while I was making spaghetti so I took the two cuts and noticed that the spaghetti fit almost snugly into the bottom of the "flower".  My ex-wife loved roses so I came up with an idea to make a dozen pasta roses.  We had multiple colored dry erase markers and when I tested them on the pasta they colored them well.  So then I took a some superglue and started putting them together.  The other guys looked at me like I was insane (they didn't have enough proof to call me out on it but I think they were close lol).  I made 12 roses and waited for the glue to dry.

 

A little while later our floor supervisor rolled into our "office" area fuming mad.  The first thing he saw was me coloring some of the roses, he stopped for a second, and looked at the other long line processor and then started chewing him out because his line had been running for hours with no oil (the oil helps the pasta come off the sticks on a long line... otherwise it won't come of properly and the pasta is garbage because it'll be all messed up).  He never said a word to me... hey I did my job... my oil was full, my tests were done, my paperwork was filled out... and at the end of the day I had a dozen pasta roses lol!

 

Good times... good times...

 

 

[Snookie]

ahhh..... Mr. I has a soft side.....who'd thunk it.   That is just sweet. 

[Setanta]

I always abbreviate our sausage and mushroom flavor as S&M.  (but I'm 13 and I want to play innocent if someone calls me out on it)

 

"Why, what's THAT mean?" <wide eye blink>

[SpursGirl]

That is a lovely story - all my stories involve me doing something that could have got me fired!!

[Mr. Incognito]

ahhh..... Mr. I has a soft side.....who'd thunk it.   That is just sweet. 

 

No I don't!!! oh yes I do... I'm a Cancer it's not my fault.

 

I always abbreviate our sausage and mushroom flavor as S&M.  (but I'm 13 and I want to play innocent if someone calls me out on it)

 

"Why, what's THAT mean?" <wide eye blink>

 

HAHAHAHA That's great!

[Mr. Incognito]

That is a lovely story - all my stories involve me doing something that could have got me fired!!

 

I have some of those too... I don't know if I want to pull those out.  I mean technically I could have been fired for it but I was always a line stepper... see how far I can step over before I get a talking to.

[Mike Green]

I have some of those too... I don't know if I want to pull those out.  I mean technically I could have been fired for it but I was always a line stepper... see how far I can step over before I get a talking to.

 The first day I started in the micro lab (aged 17) my father had warned me about pranks like sending the apprentice to get 'tartan paint' or a 'box of nail holes'

 

The one i got was this -my new boss sent me to another lab- where i was told to ask for a 'long stand' -then presumably they planned to leave me in the corridor for a couple of hours!

 

However, being forewarned by Dad -I headed out of the door, down to the city centre, had some breakfast, did a bit of shop browsing then wandered back an hour or so later.... to find a full scale search party underway for the missing trainee!

 

Happy days!

 

Mike

[Mr. Incognito]

 The first day I started in the micro lab (aged 17) my father had warned me about pranks like sending the apprentice to get 'tartan paint' or a 'box of nail holes'

 

The one i got was this -my new boss sent me to another lab- where i was told to ask for a 'long stand' -then presumably they planned to leave me in the corridor for a couple of hours!

 

However, being forewarned by Dad -I headed out of the door, down to the city centre, had some breakfast, did a bit of shop browsing then wandered back an hour or so later.... to find a full scale search party underway for the missing trainee!

 

Happy days!

 

Mike

 

They used to do that routinely in the navy.  I got "Liquid Bulkhead Remover"... now technically that means liquid wall remover but I figured hey it could just be the nickname of a wall cleaner... of course you had to go here and they gave it to another place, and that place returned it to the chemical locker, who reissued it out to another area... hours of walking around.

 

I had my doubts but I still had the silly notion that being in the military meant that we were supposed to actually do what we were told.

[Mike Green]

They used to do that routinely in the navy.  I got "Liquid Bulkhead Remover"... now technically that means liquid wall remover but I figured hey it could just be the nickname of a wall cleaner... of course you had to go here and they gave it to another place, and that place returned it to the chemical locker, who reissued it out to another area... hours of walking around.

 

I had my doubts but I still had the silly notion that being in the military meant that we were supposed to actually do what we were told.

Ha ha excellent -in the forces I guess you had no choice

 

I wasn't cut out for a life in the military-cos I have major problems with doing what I'm told!

 

Mike

[Snookie]

Then there is me the good kid who always tries to get right, don't cause any trouble, help anyone I can......still I get in trouble even when I haven't done anything wrong......guess I need to cross over to the dark side......

[Mr. Incognito]

WAAAAAAA!!! Why can't I ever get the pics I want to post!!!

 

I wanted to put up darth stewie with "Come to the dark side we have cookies" but it won't let me!!!! ARGH

[Simon]

 

WAAAAAAA!!! Why can't I ever get the pics I want to post!!!

 

I wanted to put up darth stewie with "Come to the dark side we have cookies" but it won't let me!!!! ARGH

 

 

Why Mr I?

[Mr. Incognito]

I don't know it keeps saying that the picture extension isn't allowed on this community.  Today it was jpeg files.

[Simon]

jpeg should be ok, if you try again can you please send me a screenshot of the error message.

[Snookie]

 

WAAAAAAA!!! Why can't I ever get the pics I want to post!!!

 

I wanted to put up darth stewie with "Come to the dark side we have cookies" but it won't let me!!!! ARGH

 

ooohhhh......I love cookies......

[fgjuadi]

I love "Don't Hire Me" threads ....

 

Here are a few things I would never, ever do, ever again, so you should totally want to hire me

 

Labelled / Edited various signs & switches - switches with things like "End of World" "Trap Door" "Alligator Chute" "Giant Axe" "Yes/No"...signs like "CAUTION: Break dancing" , labeling two tier filing cabinets "Top Secret" and "Bottom Secret", saving contacts in my work phone as "Total Jerk" or "Favorite employee" or " Business guy with Joe & armpit stains"

 

When I was really into make-up, I got an airbrush machine, and made a killer head wound with toilet paper & elmers glue.  It looked amazing!  I had to wear it...to work...people were stopping me left and right, and then about 10 minutes into my shift, the floor manager came into the lab and told me if I was to work I needed a covering over my wound....so I sighed and said "Okay, okay, I know" and ripped it off...to his horror!  He thought it was real...omg the look on his face...

 

I daydream a lot about writing emails like this guy - http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html ... but I never send them

[Mr. Incognito]

I love "Don't Hire Me" threads ....

 

Here are a few things I would never, ever do, ever again, so you should totally want to hire me

 

Labelled / Edited various signs & switches - switches with things like "End of World" "Trap Door" "Alligator Chute" "Giant Axe" "Yes/No"...signs like "CAUTION: Break dancing" , labeling two tier filing cabinets "Top Secret" and "Bottom Secret", saving contacts in my work phone as "Total Jerk" or "Favorite employee" or " Business guy with Joe & armpit stains"

 

When I was really into make-up, I got an airbrush machine, and made a killer head wound with toilet paper & elmers glue.  It looked amazing!  I had to wear it...to work...people were stopping me left and right, and then about 10 minutes into my shift, the floor manager came into the lab and told me if I was to work I needed a covering over my wound....so I sighed and said "Okay, okay, I know" and ripped it off...to his horror!  He thought it was real...omg the look on his face...

 

I daydream a lot about writing emails like this guy - http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html ... but I never send them

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's hilarious.  I love the top secret/bottom secret thing and Caution: Break Dancing.

 

Great stuff.

[Mr. Incognito]

lol

 

[Mr. Incognito]

oooooo that picture worked it was a gif

[Mr. Incognito]

jpeg should be ok, if you try again can you please send me a screenshot of the error message.

 

I'll get one on here today after my morning rounds and after I do my haccp review on last week.

 

Thanks Simon

[Mike Green]

I love "Don't Hire Me" threads ....

 

Here are a few things I would never, ever do, ever again, so you should totally want to hire me

 

Labelled / Edited various signs & switches - switches with things like "End of World" "Trap Door" "Alligator Chute" "Giant Axe" "Yes/No"...signs like "CAUTION: Break dancing" , labeling two tier filing cabinets "Top Secret" and "Bottom Secret", saving contacts in my work phone as "Total Jerk" or "Favorite employee" or " Business guy with Joe & armpit stains"

 

When I was really into make-up, I got an airbrush machine, and made a killer head wound with toilet paper & elmers glue.  It looked amazing!  I had to wear it...to work...people were stopping me left and right, and then about 10 minutes into my shift, the floor manager came into the lab and told me if I was to work I needed a covering over my wound....so I sighed and said "Okay, okay, I know" and ripped it off...to his horror!  He thought it was real...omg the look on his face...

 

I daydream a lot about writing emails like this guy - http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html ... but I never send them

I'm jealous- I never got to do anything llike that!

 

One thing I cringe about.... still....is that in my first job  it was 'accepted practice' that  before starting work you sprayed the benches in the micro lab with alcohol -then went just outside -stuck your arm in and lit it!-causing a wave of fire to run round the whole of the lab!

 

-other than the odd stray bit of paper towel catching fire- it never caused any issues that I am aware of but when you think back at the possible outcomes..................!

 

Mike

[Snookie]

I love "Don't Hire Me" threads ....

 

Here are a few things I would never, ever do, ever again, so you should totally want to hire me

 

Labelled / Edited various signs & switches - switches with things like "End of World" "Trap Door" "Alligator Chute" "Giant Axe" "Yes/No"...signs like "CAUTION: Break dancing" , labeling two tier filing cabinets "Top Secret" and "Bottom Secret", saving contacts in my work phone as "Total Jerk" or "Favorite employee" or " Business guy with Joe & armpit stains"

 

When I was really into make-up, I got an airbrush machine, and made a killer head wound with toilet paper & elmers glue.  It looked amazing!  I had to wear it...to work...people were stopping me left and right, and then about 10 minutes into my shift, the floor manager came into the lab and told me if I was to work I needed a covering over my wound....so I sighed and said "Okay, okay, I know" and ripped it off...to his horror!  He thought it was real...omg the look on his face...

 

I daydream a lot about writing emails like this guy - http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html ... but I never send them

OMG you are freaking amazing.....  Best laugh I have had in a long time.      

[Mr. Incognito]

jpeg should be ok, if you try again can you please send me a screenshot of the error message.

 

Simon due to issues with things and stuff on my side I emailed you a picture from my iPad of the error.  I know the picture is ugly (it's hard to take a picture of a screen with the refresh rate making lines) but you can see the error pretty good.  Sorry I didn't get it in earlier I had a really bad connection to the internet yesterday... couldn't even stream my music and talk radio shows  

[cazyncymru]

I'm jealous- I never got to do anything llike that!

 

One thing I cringe about.... still....is that in my first job  it was 'accepted practice' that  before starting work you sprayed the benches in the micro lab with alcohol -then went just outside -stuck your arm in and lit it!-causing a wave of fire to run round the whole of the lab!

 

-other than the odd stray bit of paper towel catching fire- it never caused any issues that I am aware of but when you think back at the possible outcomes..................!

 

Mike

 

 

Ohh we used to do that too; only we had wooden benches (back in the day!)

 

I remember us having a double sided calendar in the lab; on one side cute animals on the other it was a  Pirelli type calendar, and I spent a night shift with another female painting on bikinis using coloured tipex (when we were allowed to use it; we had white, green and pink!). Boys couldn't complain; so we got to see the cute animals!

 

Caz x

[Mike Green]

Ohh we used to do that too; only we had wooden benches (back in the day!)

 

I remember us having a double sided calendar in the lab; on one side cute animals on the other it was a  Pirelli type calendar, and I spent a night shift with another female painting on bikinis using coloured tipex (when we were allowed to use it; we had white, green and pink!). Boys couldn't complain; so we got to see the cute animals!

 

Caz x

ha ha- gotta love the night shift!- we used to play cricket with the wooden seats off the lab stools & fruit & veg left over from testing!-(Thats when we weren't fermenting & distilling it!)-there was always a still on the go somewhere!

 

 

 

Ohh we used to do that too; only we had wooden benches (back in the day!)

 yeah the benches were varnished wood.....we must be the same age!!!

 

Mike