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#1 Charles.C

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Posted 20 September 2014 - 03:55 PM

Dear All,

 

A Snippet for Weekend Viewers.

 

Here are a  few FS audit bloopers I saw compiled recently –

 

  • The Food Dense Plan is attached.
  • All visitors were a hair net.
  • The floor person exposes it.
  • On the east side of the building, there is a whole in the fence.
  • The company will ensure properly installed ducks
  • There was condensation on the duck work
  • Records will be helped for a minimum of two years.
  • Employees will take packers places for restroom breaks.
  • To ensure safety, hair must be retrained
  • Product is for cooking and consumption by the general public and for banking.
  • Temperatures must be taken every 15 minuets in (F)
  • Due to cross contamination, all adjacent equipment must be re-cleaned after brain cleaning.
  • The Practitioner as responsible for stuff.

 

Rgds / Charles.C


Kind Regards,

 

Charles.C


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#2 Slab

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Posted 20 September 2014 - 04:16 PM

Thanks for a good laugh, Charles!

 

 

  • Temperatures must be taken every 15 minuets in (F)

 

Mozart approves of this.  :shades:


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#3 Setanta

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Posted 20 September 2014 - 04:20 PM

:doh:


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#4 jamesdlm

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 07:25 PM

That's the ticket, I as responsible for stuff



#5 Simon

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 07:35 PM

That's the ticket, I as responsible for stuff

 

Plenty of scope.


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#6 Myusername

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 07:48 PM

What's myusername's job description?
 
Unofficially he is responsible for the development, maintenance, upkeep, enforcement and training of the SQF code at our facility.
 
Officially he is responsible for Stuff and whatnot
 



#7 Snookie

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 10:39 PM

  • Temperatures must be taken every 15 minuets in (F)

 

I love a good minuet...but not my favorite key....perhaps humming a few bars would help...... :roflmao:  :rofl2:


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#8 Kelly S

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Posted 25 September 2014 - 12:42 AM

"Due to cross contamination, all adjacent equipment must be re-cleaned after brain cleaning"   :clap:


“Will this be on the test?" "Yeah, about the test. The test will measure whether you are an informed, engaged, and productive citizen of the world, and it will take place in schools and bars and hospitals and dorm rooms and in places of worship. You will be tested on first dates, in job interviews, while watching football, and while scrolling through your Twitter feed. The test will judge your ability to think about things other than celebrity marriages, whether you’ll be easily persuaded by empty political rhetoric, and whether you’ll be able to place your life and your community in a broader context. The test will last your entire life, and it will be comprised of the millions of decisions, that when taken together, make your life yours. And everything — EVERYTHING — will be on it.”

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#9 primadeli

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Posted 26 September 2014 - 02:43 AM

Love it, thanks Charles.  We just got audited on Wednesday so now I'm looking forward to receiving our report in case I can add some more bloopers :) 



#10 Mike Green

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Posted 26 September 2014 - 06:17 AM

not a food safety one-but a friend who was a history teacher swears he once had an examination answer

 

'joan of arc was condomed to death'

 

Mike


I may sound like a complete idiot...but actually there are a couple of bits missing

#11 Simon

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Posted 26 September 2014 - 06:23 AM

I conducted a factory inspection and amongst others things found a few issues in the personnel facilities such as: dust on tops of lockers, vending machine not swept behind etc.  I duly reported all findings to the releavnt department heads for corrective/preventive action.  A few day's later one of the cleaners accosted me on the way to the toilet and angrily asked "are you the one who did that orbit?"  I said "well yes...I went around." :smile:


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Need food safety advice?
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The IFSQN is a helpful network of volunteers providing answers and support. Check out the forums and get free advice from the experts on food safety management systems and a wide range of food safety topics.

 
We could make a huge list of rules, terms and conditions, but you probably wouldn’t read them.

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#12 fgjuadi

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 08:24 PM

This isn't really a "blooper" so much as sabotage, but when I was a bad employee I changed the word "Cooler" to something more...inappropriate... on quite a few documents at one job before quitting in a spectacular manner.  Also I randomly put curse words and words I knew would offend them like lesbian and devil randomly throughout SOPs. I bet there's an operator out there right now reading an SOP and wondering "But how do I measure the concentration of lesbian sanitizer?"


Edited by magenta_majors, 30 September 2014 - 08:25 PM.

.--. .- -. - ... / --- .--. - .. --- -. .- .-..

#13 SpursGirl

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 09:29 PM

In my auditing days I used to relieve the tedium of writing countless audit reports by including as many double entendres as possible - things such as:

 

"whilst inspecting x machine the knob came off in operators hand"

"excessively oily nipples noted on x machine"

"torn rubbers"

"dirty lips noted around intake pipe'

 

Used to make me smile but I often wondered if the people recieving my reports noticed and if they did whether they giggled too  :giggle:



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#14 Charles.C

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 07:16 AM

Dear SpursGirl,

 

Thanks for the expansion.

 

Actually I just noticed this opening line to another post and immediately thought of you. :biggrin:

 

When I worked in dairy we did cryos on every incoming tanker ,butter fat w/ babcocks

 

Rgds / Charles.C


Kind Regards,

 

Charles.C


#15 Mr. Incognito

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 11:30 AM

This isn't really a "blooper" so much as sabotage, but when I was a bad employee I changed the word "Cooler" to something more...inappropriate... on quite a few documents at one job before quitting in a spectacular manner.  Also I randomly put curse words and words I knew would offend them like lesbian and devil randomly throughout SOPs. I bet there's an operator out there right now reading an SOP and wondering "But how do I measure the concentration of lesbian sanitizer?"

 

From there to IFSQN MOTM!  What a journey :roflmao:


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#16 Mr. Incognito

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 11:30 AM

humm double post... edited to make it look less noticeable.


Edited by Mr. Incognito, 01 October 2014 - 11:33 AM.

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#17 Mr. Incognito

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 11:32 AM

Dear SpursGirl,

 

Thanks for the expansion.

 

Actually I just noticed this opening line to another post and immediately thought of you. :biggrin:

 

 

Rgds / Charles.C

 

I don't know if the term stopcock is typical for the air release valve on desiccators... however once someone said it I always had to say stopcock... it's the little things that keep you going in quality.


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#18 Mike Green

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Posted 01 October 2014 - 03:17 PM

  Also I randomly put curse words and words I knew would offend them like lesbian and devil randomly throughout SOPs. I bet there's an operator out there right now reading an SOP and wondering "But how do I measure the concentration of lesbian sanitizer?"

 Classic!!!-ha ha

It can also be used for good as well as evil- we used to protect our stuff ( which was on a shared drive) by using find & replace to add the f-word randomly to certain documents -to deter colleagues from 'borrowing our work' by copy &paste

 

I suppose looking back we could have used passwords but this was much more fun!

Mike


I may sound like a complete idiot...but actually there are a couple of bits missing




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