Saferpak Spring Competition

You know what they say about sunshine and happiness. Well the sun is shining in Manchester today so what better time to launch the Saferpak Spring Competition. We have the prizes to give away...10 pairs of signed books from our friend, and leadership guru Jim Clemmer. What we don't have is the competition, and that's where you the creative SDF community can help…

Don your creative caps and post your ideas for a competition(s) below. Ideas can be as wacky and zany, as you like. And in good democratic fashion we will carry out a poll in a couple of weeks to decide the winning competition.

As a bonus the inventor of the winning competition idea will win the first pair of signed Clemmer books. :D

Best Wishes,
Simon

Just to get the ball rolling then..............................

How about the most unnecessarily over-packaged or over-engineered packaging on a consumer item encountered?

Photographic evidence may be called on for the tie-breaker!

How about the most unnecessarily over-packaged or over-engineered packaging on a consumer item encountered?

Mike Love it! I think you should have been in advertising. By the way you can post as many ideas as you like.

Cheers,
Simon

I discovered the following site http://www.coshambap....org/edge9.html.

Rank most amusing first to least amusing, and/or submit additions for listing.

Alu-fanny
French aluminum foil

Atum Bom
Portuguese tuna

Bull
French computer company

Crapsy Fruit
French cereal

Happy End
German toilet paper

Mukk
Italian yogurt

Plopp
Scandinavian chocolate

Pocari Sweat
Japanese soft drink

Zit
German lemonade

The persons with the closest match to overall rankings wins. For added members may vote as many times as they like.The payback is lots of site hits for Simon.
The drawback is the Simon has to do the sums at the end.

Hmmm...thanks for that Neil. Are they not already ranked in order of amusement?

Cheers,
Simon

How about the most unnecessarily over-packaged or over-engineered packaging on a consumer item encountered?

Have you read this article yet it's on a similar theme:

'Wrap Rage' Hitting The Over-50s

Come on guys and gals let's have some more ideas for the competition - please.

Simon

What about the longest list of (real ) management speak cliches with definitions?
Or best new definition for an existing cliche?
Or inventing the best new management speak term with definition?

Here are some I heard earlier:
Touch base
Stretch the envelope
Sing from the same hymn book
Showstopper
The bubble has burst
Think outside the box
Talk the talk
Walk the walk
Stagger the stagger
The ball is in your court
The big picture
Statistics not logistics
Time to market
Time is money
Troops
Set in stone
Tick in the box
Stepping stone
Take on board
Value-add
Your baby
Slippage Area
Shoot with both barrels
Take no prisoners
Pat the dog
Success oriented schedule
Take this offline
We're on a short runway
Squaring the circle
Take a helicopter view
You're in my geographical grid set
The whole ball of wax

What about the longest list of (real ) management speak cliches with definitions?
Or best new definition for an existing cliche?
Or inventing the best new management speak term with definition?

How do Yorkshire.

Now you are really thinking outside of the box - and I like it. :D

I like ideas number two and three the best. Possibilities...

But, what the heck is 'Statistics not logistics' - is it Brent?

Simon

I think what you've hit on there, Yorkshire, is a variation on the quaint old game of Bulls**t Bingo, where each square is allocated one of the afore mentioned phrases.
As they come up in management meetings, each player checks each phrase off until a full line or grid is completed. What is shouted at this point is up to the individual player................
Looks like a marketing potential for management training tool Simon

Mike (looking at the blue-sky scenario, whilst taking the holistic view etc etc)

Another great idea for a competition. Who can design the best Bulls**t Bingo board.

Simon

Simon,

I've touched base with my co-workers and really got down to granular level on the phrase"Statistics not logistics" and can only come to the conclusion that it is bull****.
We'll have to cast the net and do some blue sky thinking on this one, so that we can flesh it out and nail it to the wall.

Hi Yorky, that's confirmed what I originally thought.

Any more ideas for the comp?

Regards,
Simon

What about an ode, rhyme or poetic paragraph re- your pet like or dislike in your particular field of business.

Down the hill came safepak men,
like a bunch of bilbo lancers,
one in ten were _________
the rest were ______ __________

Wallace.

Excellent Wallace, it's a definite possible.

BTW who are Bilbo Lancers?

Cheers,
Simon

"Bilbo Lancers"
This is a phonetic play on words that allows following words or rhymes to sound just right. It means what you want it to mean, A bit like the Londoners (East enders) rhyme and slang.
Wallace.

Wallace I'm intrigued, do you have the missing words for your example?

Or will the swear filter ruin the effect?

Simon

Re management speak - don't forget 'meme'!

rgds Jim

Re management speak - don't forget 'meme'!

Morning Jim,

Who's meme?

Simon

The closing date for competition ideas is 05 March (this Friday). Next week W/C 08 March - we will run a poll and members can vote for their favourite competition idea. Whichever idea has the most votes come 5.00 p.m. GMT on Friday 12 March will be the winner. The inventer of which will win a pair of Jim Clemmer books.

Then we can start with the real competition. I like to keep things simple.

Simon

What about finding out what GFFI stands for?
We still seem no clearer.

Sorry ignore this you can't give away 10 books to one winner

Please take a second to vote for your favourite competition idea. Voting closes at 5.00 p.m. GMT on Friday 12 March.

Regards,
Simon

Who's meme?

This link, Simon, will tell you all you need to know - and perhaps more - about memes and memetics.

http://www.memecentral.com/

rgds Jim

Thanks for that Jim...very interesting

Only joking, I just wanted to use the new emoticon. I notice that 'meme' is pronounced 'meam' like 'dream' and not 'me me' as I originally surmised.
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I had to copy the text below from the site in case it got missed. It's a compilation of all the hoax emails you ever received.

The Ultimate Internet Mind Virus

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an email entitled "Join the crew!"

He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Nieman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates (It's true--I read it all last week in a mass email from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disneyworld Vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the email to everyone I know).

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidney, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said "Welcome to the world of AIDS."

Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital--the very one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an email and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every email he receives. I sent him two emails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will have good luck but ten people only will give you OK luck and if you send it to less than ten people you will have bad luck FOR SEVEN YEARS!)

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.

(Author unknown)
Source: http://www.memecentral.com

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So don't forget next time you get a hoax email copy and paste the above text and send it back titled 'You think that's bad...'

Simon

Just a reminder that voting closes 5.00 p.m. GMT on Friday 12 March. Please take a second to vote.

Regards,
Simon