I have been an Auditor for more than a decade and have worked in the food industry (in Australia) for more than 40 years. This includes some time as the Technical Manager for a CB.
I am gob-smacked that the auditors described above could have passed the rigour of the qualification process - they certainly would not have survived in Australia. I would have refused entry to ANYONE attempting to bring a dog onto the site! And demand that anyone breaching normally acceptable social standards leave the site, discontinue the audit and demand that the CB supply a suitable Auditor and conduct the audit at their expense.
As in every area of endeavour in life, there is a a normal distribution curve that applies to Auditors. On behalf of the Auditor fraternity, I apologise that you have experienced the bottom 1% of the distribution curve.
Calibration of auditors, interpretation of standards and ethical behaviour are the most difficult things for CBs to address because auditors are people too. It is your right as the customer of auditing services to demand value for money.
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