17 replies to this topic

[Simon]

I've thoroughly enjoyed my time as administrator of these forums and it's been a delight working with you. However, as the saying goes 'all good things must come to an end'; and this good thing has.

I'll explain, yesterday I had a massive stroke of luck, completely out of the blue I received an email (see below) confirming that I had won a million US dollars ($1,000,000) in a Dutch lottery.

Yes you heard it right, a million smackerooneys! And it's all mine...well I have to fill a form in first (see attached), but that's just a formality. I reckon it will take about a week to receive the cheque and a further week to clear so I've booked flights to the Bahamas for the 1st July, one way of course.

This means the forums and web site will close its doors at close of business on 30th June 2004. I had toyed with selling up but I can't be bothered…

Cheers Guys and Gals,
Simon

PACIFIC INTERNATIONAL FINANCE AND TRUST AGENCY
(ACCREDITED LICENSED AGENT TO ABSOLLUTELY FAMOUS AGENCY)

Ref. Number: 132/756/4107
Batch Number: 538901537-BB67

Sir/Madam
                    CONGRATULATIONS.

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International programs held on the 7th of June, 2004. Your E-mail address attached to ticket number 27511465895-6410 with serial number 3772-510 drew lucky numbers 7-14-88-23-21-45 which consequently won in the 1st category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$ 1,000,000.00(ONE MILLION DOLLARS)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 company and 30,000,000 individual Email addresses and names from all over the world. This promotional program takes place every three years.

This lottery was promoted and sponsored by Presidents of the World Largest softwares, we hope with part of your winning you will take part in our next year USD50 million international lottery. To file for your claim, please contact our FIDUCIAL Agent MR. VLADID MEER of the GLOBAL FINANCE AND TRUST AGENCY.

TEL:  0031-613-667-121
FAX:  0031-645-260-301.
EMAIL:  absollutelott@netscape.net

Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than 29th of
June,2004. After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications. please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence.  Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible.

Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional  program.

Note: Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Grace Edward
Lottery Coordinator.

Attached Files

•  AWARDFORM1.doc   67KB   40 downloads

[Edwina Chicken Currie]

Simon - let me be one of the first to congratulate you on your magnificent windfall!!!!
Please don't think me rude, but can I point out that there may be a few typing errors on your application form???? - Oh, and make sure you enclose the cheque to cover the processing costs!!
I won last year, and as I forgot to enclose my $600, have been advised there may be a delay... oh well, as soon as the funds have cleared I'm sure someone famous will come knocking my door with a suitcase stuffed full of used banknotes!!!!!!

[Puzzle]

What a load of bo@@ock5.

When received in the post, I usually post the things back with no postage and a note telling them to take the processing fee from the award.

Not received any yet

[PHILGRIFFITHS]

DONT GIVE UP YOUR DAY JOB.
I HAVE RECENTLY HAD AN OFFER OF USD 5,000,000 FROM NIGERIA TO INVEST IT IN ANYTHING I WANT. HAS ANYONE GOT ANY IDEAS?

[Simon]

I HAVE RECENTLY HAD AN OFFER OF USD 5,000,000 FROM NIGERIA TO INVEST IT IN ANYTHING I WANT. HAS ANYONE GOT ANY IDEAS?

Hey Phil, Two in one day, I think this forum must be lucky or something. I'd invest most of it in pleasure if I were you.

Regards,
Simon

[rheath]

I am in a particularly viscous mood today so I have just devised my next response to these claims - I would appreciate some help in developing a bogus CV..

My response would be:

Thank you for sending me your claim form, however I am now completely fed up with receiving bogus claim forms and have decided to take these issues into my own hands.

I suggest you read on as this will be a matter of life & death!!

For information, please see attached my CV which demonstrates my career history as an industrial chemist who consults for the MOD.

You may have noticed on opening this letter an amount of white powder, I can notify you that this is ANTHRAX.

You now have two choices if you wish to live - either send me a £1M cheque immediately, on which point I will supply the antidote. If you do not have these funds available, I suggest that you contact the authorities immediately requesting the ANTHRAX antidote, at which point I am sure they will be keen to know how you got exposed to this chemical.

Once again, thank you for selecting me for your prize draw.

Yours sincerely

Richard

Edited by rheath, 11 June 2004 - 10:23 AM.

[Simon]

Absolutely Brilliant! Not sure about the legal ramifications, but who cares…

Regards,
Simon

[rheath]

I think the draw back of my plan would be if they actually sent me the £1M, I suppose I could be up for extortion (oh well I would have to go on the run with my £1M).

Tell you what - best make it £5M, just in case..

[Simon]

Things are moving on...the millions getting closer. :D

ATTN:Simon Timperley,
                    PROCESSING INFORMATION.
  We acknowledge the receipt of your application form. After normal verification and scrutiny exercise, you are found qualify to receiving payment of the above stated lottery prize. We shall proceed to conclude the payment process of your lottery prize, thus your winning money  shall be confirm to you in your stipulated  mode of payment within 72 working hrs.
You are therefore required to proceed to Amsterdam the Netherlands as an  official appointment has been schedule for you on Thursday 17th of June 2004,  to come and sign the release document and a certificate of award shall be awarded to crown you as one of the lucky winners of the year 2004. Global lottery international.
You are therefore required to proceed with the following.
(1) A VALID IDENTIFICATION PROOF (It could be your passport or a drivers licence)
(2) Endeavour to send your flight schedule so that our protocol officer can pick you from the airport to the venue of the Award ceremony. Please note that failure to comply to this appointment date shall be made known to this office as soon as possible, so that an alternative arrangement can be made for you, if you cannot come in person, We shall arrange for an attorney here in the Netherlands, to assist you in signing the release document as well as to collect the award certificate on your behalf, before the fund can be release to your designated account. All rights and obligation of any client to this claim can be denied if the release document is not signed. We await your prompt response and acknowledgement.

Congratulations in advance.

Best regards,

Vladid Meer.
(PAYMENT DIRECTOR)
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[Edwina Chicken Currie]

Hey Simon - I'm in the Netherlands auditing a packaging manufacturer on that day - I could always make a detour on your behalf!!!!!!!

[Simon]

Hey Simon - I'm in the Netherlands auditing a packaging manufacturer on that day - I could always make a detour on your behalf!!!!!!!

OK go for it. I will pay your expenses and of course a little tip for your trouble. $100,000 should cover it - take it out of the mil.

Cheers,
Simon

[Puzzle]

I hope everything went alright and your representative has not absconded with the rest of the award.

[Simon]

I hope everything went alright and your representative has not absconded with the rest of the award.      

Good point Puzzle we haven't seen 'hide nor hair' of Fiona and she owes me $900,000 after the Dutch job. Thanks for reminding me, it had completely slipped my mind.

Simon

[Puzzle]

Simon, I am totally stunned you could let a mere $900k 'slip your mind'

[PHILGRIFFITHS]

Dear Simon,
I know you`re not going to believe this, but I`ve won again.

I have received today 2 winning notifications. One for EURO 1,000,000 and the other for USD 17,500,000.

Can anyone tell me what today`s foreign exchange rate is please?

I`ll send you a post card when I reach Sengal.

B)

[Simon]

Can anyone tell me what today`s foreign exchange rate is please?

And they say lightining doesn't strike twice. I wouldn't worry about that mate...

I've decided to donate all of my winnings to CHARIDY - I mean who needs wads of cash when you've got Quality in your life?

I'm soooo lucky!
Simon

[Simon]

Email received today.

PLATINUM ZURICH INTERNATIONALNETHERLOTTO PROMOTION
VETTING/PAYMENT OFFICE
43 ALMEREoOST VILL 11M
ALMERE,NL
www.platinumzurich.com

RE /WINNING NOTIFICATION/ FINAL NOTICE
We are pleased to inform you of the announcement today 1st July 2004 of
your selection as one of the five winners of the promotional
Netherlotto held recently as part of our WORLDWIDE SWEEPSTAKE BONANZA. You have
therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of 1.5 000 000.00 (One Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars Only) in cash credited to file REF NO.EGMIKS255125600112

We in the Netherlotto is by this program,Launching our model computer
balloting lottery draws, developed and designed to satisfy the cravings
of the ever-growing number of participants in our various lottery
programs. With funds accrued exclusively from
previous draws, payouts to all winners are guaranteed and will be
transferred in record time.You are in category C
After randomly selecting 15,000 participants from an initial database
of 300,000 emails all participants were selected through a computer
ballot system from the Middle East, Asia, Africa, Canada, Europe, USA and
South America as part our International Pr
omotions Program, which was conducted in view of launching ourselves
into the Sweepstakes Industry Worldwide and zoning all participants by
their respective continents from across the globe, we produced an
extensive list from which you have emerged as on
e of the winners of the Grand Draw prize.
To ensure a smooth collection of your winnings, the transfer of your
prize is to be handled by our Prize Transfer agents.
You are to contact our Officer in the Netherland by email or telephone
within a week of receiving this notice. Please find full contact
details below:


Mr.Simon Thomas Jonka
Euroshore Financial/Vetting Office
PLATINUM ZURICH INTERNATIONAL
43 ALMEREoOST VILL 11M
ALMERE,NL
TEL:0031-616-142-083
FAX:0031-205-248-835
EMAIL ADDRESS:sithomasjonka@netscape.net
www.platinumzurich.com


Also find all other relevant winning lottery information below: Ref No: EGMIKS255125600112 Batch No:14/0017/IPD Also send your Name, Address and Country of Residence,telephone and fax
number when replying your Claims Agent. Remember, you must contact your
claim agent not later than a week of receiving this notification. After
this date, all funds will be returned
as unclaimed.

NOTE:

In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember
to Quote your reference and batch numbers in every one of your
correspondences with your agent.
Furthermore you are seriously advised to keep all winning lottery
information and numbers from the public in line with our company security
protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program
by unscrupulous individuals.
Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being part
of our Promotions program.
Yours Sincerely,

THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER
PLATINUM ZURICH
N.B. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will
result to Disqualification. Please do not reply to this mail. Contact your
claim Officer.

Aren't I lucky.

Regards,
Simon

[Edwina Chicken Currie]

Hi all

I'm back from my rendezvous at the lottery winners' secret money collection point. (Offices looked more like a backstreet coffee shop... hmmm)
I handed over the drivers' licence and passport, as requested in the email.
When I handed over the bank details and pin numbers, he PROMISED that by the time I returned the transfer would be completed.
Hurrah - fortune at last - money for nuthin!!!!!

Hang on a minute, I'm back, and none the richer!!!
What's this???? Lotto scams and identity theft???????

http://www.fraudwatc...aud/lottery.htm

PS: 'scuse me Mr.Puzzle.....

I hope everything went alright and your representative has not absconded with the rest of the award.

What ARE you trying to suggest ?????