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[Simon]

The disappointment of not securing a welding apprenticeship on leaving school was compounded when I applied unsuccessfully for a job as a painter and decorator. At the age of 16 I couldn't understand why I had been overlooked in favour of another, much smaller, spotty urchin. Looking back it was a fortunate outcome or unfortunate as some might say.

It was during my twenties when I first realised that being tall was not the most important attribute to being a good painter and decorator; in fact tallness or bigness is not important at all (ladders) and can actually be a major hindrance.

Although this realisation did resolve a few psychological issues for me it was also the beginning of a deep loathing that I have nurtured for the last 15 years. Most of the time I manage to suppress this deep loathing until somebody (usually the wife) mentions the dreaded P or D word.

Painting and Decorating is a skilled profession and in addition to a good brush it requires patience, dexterity, patience, dexterity and above all patience. And I am tall.

‘Lilac Love' was the chosen colour; I didn't pick it, important decisions like that are left to the Manager. And so I spent the weekend painting and decorating the master bedroom along with the carpet, windows, the bath, the sink, my clothes, hair and eyeballs.

The work split ratio for a professional painter and decorator is I guess around 1:0.1, e.g. 1 days P & D to 0.1 days cleaning-up, whereas for me the ratio is 1:2.

Eventually you do manage to clean everything up and it all looks OK but try as I might I can't feel happy.

[Simon]

Replying to ones own posts is a sure sign of madness.

I was unsure whether to reply here or to add a new topic entitled "The Joys of Plumbing". Anyway, part of the decorating fiasco at the weekend involved removing the radiator from the bedroom wall and very surprisingly I managed to achieve this and put it back on without any problems, well at least that's what I thought...

I first became aware there was something wrong when I switched on the hot water in the evening and after 1 1/2 hours the water was still ice cold. The twins missed out on their bubble bath and had to take a shower instead and I was left pondering the cruel hand I had been dealt (yet again) by the agent provocateur commonly known as The DIY Devil.

How could I have foreseen the problem after all it's invisible. Yes you guessed it; the culprit was air, O2, oxygen. Apparently during the removal and replacement of the radiator I had riddled the entire central heating system with pockets of air preventing the water from circulating.

A colleague with plumbing skills has written a procedure explaining how to remedy the situation and I'm really looking forward to testing it out tonight.

Burn B & Q burn!!!


Simon

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[Simon]

DONT ASK!