Hi
Can we have an advice columnist that answers letters about QA woes once a week, in a hilarious way like Thatz not okay or Savage Love? Sometimes I want to write salacious letter to them, but they, being non-QAs, would never understand. Then Dear QuAbby would answer and the forum members could comment. Here are some things not specifically related to standards but more to QA Specfic frustrations that I imagine people would write -
Dear QuAbby,
I have a smelly female employee with moustache hairs, how do I break it to her that she needs a beard net?
Dear QuAbby,
My boss brings his living animal to work and it violates my pest control policy, which has a clause and corrective action procedure for removal of domestic animals. Can I remove the clause and be in compliance with ISO 9001:2008? I can, right?
Dear QuAbby,
My pest control guy hugged me and then asked me out the other day, but he totaly found my indian meal moth infestation and came in for our audits, so I don't want to fire him. Akward! Shoudl I take the leap to a new pest control service, or endure low level sexual harassment but grade A service?
Dear QuAbby,
The Plant Manager is "fishing off the comany pole/ dipping the pen in company ink / getting his honey where he gets his money" with the IT intern, and he's making us use her terrible, broken Excel spreadsheets with outdated hyperlinks and 3 page long formulas that suddenly stop working and reference sheets in other files FOR COAS AND BATCH SHEETS. Everything is coming to a grinding halt. Product Spec sheets are next! She reset the draft version to 0 on all of my sharepoint files, so I have to go manually load them versions number of times. How do I tell him she sucks without getting myself fired?
Dear QuAbbey,
Our parts guy and our top technician are in a relationship, and he's married and the tech is pregnant with his baby, and his wife came to work to deliver a dozen roses to him with divorce papers, plus they're both super dramatic and emotive personalities. How long should they be allowed to talk to each other in the parts cage? 5 min? Do we need an SOP or can I just tell the production manager to suck it up? Is it okay to laugh or do I have to pretend to care about their personal lives?
Edited by magenta_majors, 21 March 2014 - 01:14 AM.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed a laugh this morning! 
(albeit a little Ramboistic perhaps)
