3 replies to this topic

[Simon]

I received a lovely glossy brochure today - it smells real nice. It's titled 'Achieve ISO 9000:2000 Certification inside 30 days' from a company called Certified Quality Systems (CQS), they also use the tagline ‘Completed Quite Simply' which is another clever use of CQS. (Can you think of any more?)

Cutting to the chase here's their offer:

'ISO 9000 inside 30 days

CQS has a new and refreshing approach to ISO 9000 Certification. Our approach encompasses simultaneously the preparation of your manuals whilst undertaking the initial assessment and eliminates the need for you to engage potentially expensive consultants costing many thousands of pounds.

This is a completely new concept and means we can:

- Dramatically reduce the cost of Certification
- Achieve Certification quickly and efficiently
- Eliminate all unnecessary jargon
- Realistically reduce the amount of management time involved
- Charge sensible external audit fees to maintain your Certification
- Provide a No-Certificate, No-fee service'

'The CQS Method

We assess the activities of Your business that directly affect the quality of the product / service You offer. If necessary we develop a programme to remedy any areas that fall short of the Standard. (Normally assessment takes between one and two days). You will receive your Quality and Process/Procedures manuals plus all the other necessary aids to help you take the best advantage of your achievement. An annual external audit is required to maintain your ISO 9000 Certification'

'Upon Certification

You will receive:

- ISO 9000 Certificate
- Quality Assurance Manual
- Process / Procedures Manual
- Logos for stationery vehicles premises and equipment
- Final Manuals on CD
- Your business entered in the Register of Certified Companies'


I didn't know you could get ISO9000 Certification, but the price is pretty competitive, you get all the gubbins and a shit load of stickers…so you can't say fairer than that!

For further information see: http://www.iso9001certification.co.uk

Regards,
Simon

[Puzzle]

Oh dear, here we go again, someone degrading the true value of systems (please note I did not say 9k2k :D )

Many companies offer the same service, so it does make me laugh when the claim a 'fresh approach'.

Total load of B.......s

[Jim Wade]

Here's another ... check out ISO in a Box: http://www.isoinabox.co.uk/index.html

** On closer examination, it seems that the box doesn't really contain the International Organization for Standardization itself, just some stuff about something called ISO 9001:2000. Silly me. **

It is claimed that your management system "can take as little as 6 hours to implement".

I wonder why some companies take so much longer?

rgds Jim

[Simon]

Your Certificate Sir!

I was wondering when I'd get a chance to use that beaut.