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Don't Blame, Shame or Complain

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Posted 10 May 2005 - 07:41 PM

Don't Blame, Shame or Complain
By Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.

Communicating to a team member can be more dependent on how you say "it" rather than what it is you say. If you blame, shame or complain, your team mate could get defensive and not be able to take in what it is you are trying to tell him or her.

When someone feels blamed, he or she can immediately go into denial about what you are trying to share. For many people, feeling blamed takes them right back to childhood and he or she will choose to ignore the problem, get over-sensitive or become angry. Telling a staffer how you feel without blaming will help engage him or her in resolving the issue rather than confusing it or having things escalate into an argument.

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Don't Blame, Shame or Complain


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